Today I wanted to share with you two resources. The first is another great TED talk that adds flavor to the debate of communication depth through online channels. Speaker Stefana Broadbent watches us while we talk (and IM, and text). She is one of a new class of ethnographers who study the way our social habits and relationships function and mutate in the digital age. Her research shows how communication tech is capable of cultivating deeper relationships, bringing love across barriers like distance and workplace rules.
Plus below is a series of communication skills you may find helpful in your journey to communicate with greater precision.
“The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives.” — Tony Robbins
- Listen without judgment. The key to good communication is listening well. Save your judging for later after you have heard and understood what was said.
- Listen with the willingness to be swayed to the other person’s opinion. No obligation to actually being swayed, but stay open to the option.
- Listen without thinking about what you will say next. Take time before you respond.
- Do not be invested in being right. Being right is not the point. If you must be right, you are not able to listen nor communicate because you have set up a barrier already. If you are always right that means the other person is always wrong. That cannot be true.
- If your mind wanders, ask for repetition. We all are subject to distraction. Try to stay focused.
- In all cases repeat back what you heard and ask if it is correct.
- Listen to yourself. Find quiet moments and pay attention to what you are hearing from yourself. Does your body tighten up about certain issues. Body language is not something to read only in other people.
- Say it honestly, but with consideration for the listener’s feelings. Be polite, respectful and sincere.
- Understand and acknowledge that most things are not black or white, but somewhere in a gray area. Get comfortable with gray.
- Have integrity and build trust. Don’t say what you don’t mean. Don’t promise what you won’t or can’t fulfill. Follow through with any committments you make.