Today we live [...]]]> Communication is a two way street. More often than not we are so caught up in what we are saying that we never put ourselves in the role of prospect, customer or colleague and listen to what we are saying. What we say is very often not what is heard.

Today we live in a world of skeptics. We are gun shy of most, and fearful of making a bad decision. Like you, I’m a lifelong learner. I am reading “The Language of Trust” by Michael Maslansky.

The Language of Trust

From Michael’s website The Language of Trust: Selling Ideas in a World of Skeptics is a book about how to use language to undo the skepticism that a world of too much spin has created. Based on more than a decade’s worth of research into how consumers and the public respond emotionally to communication, we explore new words, new phrases, and new communication techniques to address situations where there appears to be a “failure to communicate.” In the process, you will learn how your audience thinks, and this new approach to communicating can help you to sell your products, your company, your ideas, your story, and even yourself. But most importantly, this book gives you the tools to use language that builds, or rebuilds trust, when the facts, actions, and record are on your side, but you just can’t quite get over that last hurdle—acceptance.

“Trust has never been more important in the corporate world – because there’s so little of it. For years, people have tried to figure out how to communicate trust. Now, finally, Michael Maslansky has unlocked the DNA of trust. Anyone who cares about their employees, their customers or their reputation has to read this book.”
– Dr. Frank Luntz, Author of Words That Work and What Americans Really Want…Really

“Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.” — Rudyard Kipling

Here is a resource that can give your organization a deeper relationship with people. That’s something we all can benefit from. Let me know what you think after you finish.

Remember RARE…This [...]]]> Months ago I dug into a topic we call R.A.R.E. While deep in this conversation it became clear that not only could this concept be shared with Church Pastor’s to further deepen their message but with any organization and person who longs to drive relational trust to a much deeper level.

Remember RARE…This stands for:

Relevant

Authentic

Relational

Evangelistic

As you meet with clients and prospects listen for answers to these questions:

• How has our product changed your life?
• How has our produce changed your routine?
• What is the greatest thing our product has provided you?
• What “gift” have you received from (whatever the customer bought or is interested in)?

And if you are a bit nervous around the dreaded “R” word…Referral try this on…

• Who else in your life (friends, peers, co-workers, neighbors ((people in your life)) could benefit from the “gift” that your new (whatchamacallit that you provided them) that you have received?

Never be afraid to ask a client to go deeper with a response…You can always say, “tell me more about that”…

Greater engaged, persuasive, real, authentic marketing works when our clients tell our story and their stories and others can relate to them…Advertising messages are most successful when they are authentic, informative and honest…Hype is dead…Evangelism is what gives us a sales force outside of yourself…Your clients are your primary sales force…

Listen more, talk less, do more. Hard to implement, don’t you agree? Engaged listening is the key that unlocks it all. In all forms engaged listening can dramatically improve your outcome. Remember when you closed that sale because you actively heard what your prospect was telling you they wanted? What about [...]]]> It’s a simple concept.

Engaged Listening is the Key

Listen more, talk less, do more. Hard to implement, don’t you agree? Engaged listening is the key that unlocks it all. In all forms engaged listening can dramatically improve your outcome. Remember when you closed that sale because you actively heard what your prospect was telling you they wanted? What about when you body told you it was tired or hurt during a workout? What about in the middle of the night, when your child cried out? Engaged listening…Amazing we can never close our ears.

Below is a great article on improving your listening skills from LIVESTRONG.

What are three types of effective listening?

1. Paraphrasing
To paraphrase, one simply rewords what another individual has said. For example, the speaker might say, “She was foolish to quit her job.” The listener might respond, “I hear you saying that you believe she shouldn’t have quit.” What has occurred is paraphrasing where the listener has clarified what the speaker has said.
2. Open Questions
An open question explores a person’s statement without requiring a simple “yes” or “no” answer. The basic difference between an open question and a closed question is what they provide the person being asked. When you are asked an open question it helps you think more about an issue. A closed question will not do that. It may force you to answer before you are ready, or require a “yes” or “no” answer that doesn’t allow more thinking about the issue. Closed questions close the door on further thought, while open questions open the door. For example, the speaker might say, “I don’t like my job.” The listener might respond, “What about your job don’t you like?” or, “Tell me more about your feelings regarding your job.”
3. Feeling Reflection
Feeling reflection is a response in which you express a feeling or emotion you have experienced in reference to a particular statement. For example, the speaker might say, “I get sick of working so much overtime!” The listener might respond, “I hear you feeling angry and resentful at being asked to work so much overtime.” Feeling reflections are perhaps the most difficult active listening responses to make. Not only do you actively listen to what is being said but also you actively listen for what is being felt. When you make a feeling reflection, you are reflecting back what you hear of another’s feelings. It is similar to paraphrasing; however, you repeat what you heard them feeling instead of what you heard them saying. To understand what individuals are feeling, you must listen to their words, to their tone of voice, and watch their body signals. By observing all three you can begin to guess their feelings.
* Listen carefully so that you will be able to understand, comprehend and evaluate. Careful listening will require a conscious effort on your part. You must be aware of the verbal and nonverbal messages (reading between the lines).
* Be mentally and physically prepared to listen. Put other thoughts out of your mind. Your attention will be diverted from listening if you try to think of answers in advance.
* You can’t hear if you do all the talking.
* Think about the topic in advance, if possible. Be prepared to listen.
* Listen with empathy. See the situation from the other’s point of view. Try to put yourself in their shoes.
* Be courteous; don’t interrupt. Take notes if you worry about forgetting a particular point.
* Avoid stereotyping individuals by making assumptions about how you expect them to act. This will bias your listening.
* Listen to how something is said. Be alert for what is left unsaid.
* Make certain everyone involved gets an opportunity to voice their opinions. Don’t let one person dominate the conversation.
* Face those you are talking with, lean slightly forward and make eye contact. Use your body to show your interest and concern.

Roadblocks to Effective Listening

The following types of responses indicate ineffective listening:
* warning
* interrogating
* preaching
* ordering
* judging
* diverting
* analyzing
* blaming
* labeling
* moralizing
* probing
* ridiculing
* threatening
* reassuring
* distracting
* sympathizing
* demanding
* interpreting
* teaching
* withdrawing
* giving solutions
* scolding
* praising
* advising
* criticizing
* directing
* lecturing
* name-calling

Reasons to Improve Listening Skills

* To avoid saying the wrong thing, being tactless
* To dissipate strong feelings
* To learn to accept feelings (yours and others)
* To generate a feeling of caring
* To help people start listening to you
* To increase the other person’s confidence in you
* To make the other person feel important and recognized
* To be sure you both are on the same wavelength
* To be sure you both are focused on the same topic
* To check that you are both are on target with one another

Questions to Ask Yourself in Conversations
* What am I doing in this interaction?
* What are my strategies or goals in communicating this message?
* Where do I want to go in this conversation?
* What is my body feeling right now in this conversation?
* What pressures am I feeling in talking with this person?
* What could I say differently?
* How could I say that so as to show I understood?
* What am I feeling at this time?
* What impulses do I have?
* What is my decision–making process in this conversation?
* How is she feeling toward me?
* What do I want or not want him to feel?
* What risks am I experiencing in this conversation?
* How is her appearance affecting me?
* What fantasy is going on in my head in this dialogue?
* What cues of the other am I responding to?
* How does his behavior affect my approach in this discussion?
* How genuine am I feeling at this time?
* How does what I say reflect genuineness to her?
* How could I have made what I just said more empathetic? How did I demonstrate respect for the other?
* How is my level of communication and vocabulary affecting the dialogue?
* What different style of communication could I use to reach her better?
* How attentive am I to him at this time?
* How do I feel about her response?
* How comfortable am I feeling at this time?
* How are my values affecting what I am hearing at this time?
* What is the level of my trust at this time?
* How did that question further the discussion and show I was listening?
* How mutually helpful is this conversation at this time?
* How honest are my statements with her?
* How comfortable am I in honestly labeling what I see going on with him?
* What can I do to improve the feedback I am giving the other?
* How well am I tuning into her feelings?
* What responses can I use to demonstrate that I am “with” the other?

Feelings for Which You Can be Listening

Use these lists of words to help you as you listen for the feelings of others in your conversations. Try to identify the other person’s feeling, then reflect them back to the speaker.
Positive feelings include love, affection, concern, interest, elation and joy.
Negative feelings include depression, sadness, distress, fear, anger and anxiety.
Practice Listening for Feelings
Give either a paraphrase, an open question or a feeling-reflection listening response for each of the following statements. First identify the feelings, then give your response. Compare your answers with a friend’s. Discuss the feelings identification and appropriateness of your responses.
“I am overwhelmed with work and can’t get to your project yet.”
“No one ever appreciates me around here!”
“I am lost. I’ll never get this job done. Can you help me with this?”
“When I was younger I never knew what to expect in my house. One day Dad would be happy and carefree, and the next day he might be angry and hateful.”
“I always work hard to achieve the goals of my group. I can’t believe everyone else doesn’t feel that way.”
“I am so upset. I hate bringing the baby to the mall. Everyone stares at him. I get so embarrassed, I could cry!”
“Why doesn’t anyone understand how I feel? I try my hardest but it never seems to matter. They still argue and fight all the time.”
“I would rather die than let anyone know how I feel about it.”
“No one but me is responsible for what happens to me. Butt out of my business and I’ll butt out of yours.”
“Why did this have to happen to me? What did I do wrong? Why has God chosen me for this?”
“Why doesn’t anyone ever hear me? I am so anxious for them to give me a chance but they all seem busy and preoccupied. I don’t think they really care about me anymore.”
“You are all a bunch of phonies. I can’t stand your cold-hearted, pompous ideas of right and wrong. I’d rather be anywhere else than with you tonight!”
“I get so embarrassed in that group. Everyone seems so together and with it. I’m afraid they would never accept me for who I am and the way I feel.”
“I get so uptight coming to this group every week. I am sure that someday my turn will come and I’ll be so clammed up I’ll never be able to say a word.”
“I am so afraid of letting my feelings out. If I ever let them out, I may never stop. I might go over the edge.”
“My dad and mom are so busy taking care of my little brother that I’m afraid to tell them about my problems. They seem insignificant compared to his problems.”
“Nobody really cares if we win or lose. They goof around and take nothing serious.”
“I am so untalented, ignorant and ugly that no one could possibly love me.”
“I wish that I had never been born. If I hadn’t been born, maybe my family wouldn’t have had such problems. Maybe Mom and Dad would have been happy and not divorced.”
“I want to thank you for making this the best day of my life. You are all so special and wonderful. I love you all.”

When was the last time you surprised yourself? A time when you took a chance. Where your body, mind, and heart accomplished things you never thought possible. [...]]]>

“You’ve got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down.” — Ray Bradbury, American Author

Your Attitude Determines Your Altitude

When was the last time you surprised yourself? A time when you took a chance. Where your body, mind, and heart accomplished things you never thought possible. Now that’s living! Many people live their lives each day as a carbon copy of the day before. Never forget, no matter your age, no matter the challenges, no matter the risk, you can achieve ANYTHING you set your mind to.

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Chuck Mefford, bestselling marketing strategist and author, mentor and friend teaches a concept we implement with every client partner. It is called “Bricks and Mortar” and for business owners it is simply the extension of taking a strategy and converting it into a strategy-based message.

You want to be the business [...]]]>

BrandsFormation-Strategy and Marketing Bestseller

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Chuck Mefford, bestselling marketing strategist and author, mentor and friend teaches a concept we implement with every client partner. It is called “Bricks and Mortar” and for business owners it is simply the extension of taking a strategy and converting it into a strategy-based message.

You want to be the business that people think of first, whenever they need your product or service. Bricks & Mortar connect a person’s mind to your business.

There are two parts:  The mortar is the consistency of elements in your marketing message. The mortar serves to “cement” all the BRICKS together in a person’s mind. Color gives your business a consistent look that ties everything together. Music gives your business a consistent sound (think jingles). Likewise, your business logo is a consistent look where it is applied to your building, vehicles, website, and such. Your voice or another consistent voice is your “audio logo.” Again, these mortar elements give your brand a consistent look and sound. Most importantly, whether it is sight, sound, or strategy words – these mortar elements rarely change. That’s why you don’t see the McDonald’s “pink arches.” They’ve been golden for 50 years. That’s consistent. The bricks, on the other hand, are always changing. The bricks are all the parts of your story that you build in the listener’s mind, brick by brick, dramatizing what sets you apart. The most powerful bricks are always “stories” or parables. Most business owners have great stories to tell about themselves and their customers. They just aren’t telling them.

The power of stories

Stories — the bricks — pack the punch. Stories give power to your message. Stories are what people remember, how they connect, and what enable you to get “stuck in their minds.” Through stories you dramatize your company’s difference and bring it to life. Through the use of stories you avoid the deadly hack clichés everybody talks about when asked, “What makes you different?” Product, service, selection, price. When clients tell me those things are their Differentiating Idea, I usually reply, “The last ten thousand guys I talked to said the same thing. Everybody says that stuff. What do you have that’s different?” Stories are the secret to getting through and getting in.

Why do I put such an emphasis on stories? Because stories are how people think, remember, and communicate, and by which they are motivated and connected. People dislike advertising, but we all like stories. Stories so permeate our everyday speech that we are hardly aware of it. But try it. Go through a day and notice the allusions you naturally use.

Stories are powerful, and your stories will help you communicate your message to prospective customers

Have you ever heard of Salt Lake Stadium? It’s not in Utah, but Kolkata, India. It’s the world’s second-largest stadium [...]]]>

The loudest and most influential voice you hear is your own inner voice, your self critic. It can work for your or against you, depending on the message you allow. – Keith Harrell.

Have you ever heard of Salt Lake Stadium? It’s not in Utah, but Kolkata, India. It’s the world’s second-largest stadium and seats 120,000 rabid soccer fans. Imagine it filled to capacity… all the fans on their feet cheering at record-setting decibels… and carrying banners and blowing horns. Can you see it? Now picture yourself in the center of the field — it’s YOU they are cheering for. Keep that image in your mind anytime you think of being critical of yourself. A group of superachievers also want to cheer you on…

]]> http://gettmg.com/2011/07/words-ring-true/feed/ 0 http://gettmg.com/2011/07/strength-of-social-media/ http://gettmg.com/2011/07/strength-of-social-media/#comments Tue, 05 Jul 2011 20:48:40 +0000 GetTMG http://gettmg.com/?p=110 Just a great video that captures the impact of Social Media in our everyday lives

]]> Just a great video that captures the impact of Social Media in our everyday lives

]]> http://gettmg.com/2011/07/strength-of-social-media/feed/ 0